funny jokes

Computer Joke My friend was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the computer workstations with her arms crossed across her chest and staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position only now she was impatiently tapping her foot. He asked if she needed help and she replied, "It's about time! I pushed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!" Teacher Joke An English teacher at Iowa State University spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors in her students' written work. She wasn't sure how much impact she was having until one overly busy day when she sat at her desk rubbing her temples. A student asked, "What's the matter, Mrs. Sheridan?" "Tense," she replied, describing her emotional state. After a slight pause the student tried again, "What was the matter? What has been the matter? What might have been the matter...?� Farme...

Hospital Joke The Psychiatrist was escorting a patient from one Psychiatric Hospital to another. They were travelling by train, and the Psychiatrist was intrigued to see the patient tearing up bits of paper and throwing them out of the window. "What are you doing that for?" asked the Psychiatrist. "It's to keep the elephants away!" answered the patient. "But there are no elephants in Surrey," pointed out the Psychiatrist. "Effective, isn't it?" was the logical answer. University Joke On his first day of classes at a university, a student took a front row seat in a literature course. The professor told them they would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide them with a list of authors from which they could choose. Then the professor ambled over to the lectern, took out his class notes and began ... "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook ...� The student was working feverishly to get down all the names, when he fe...

Exam Joke An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an "A" when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?" Mother Joke When I arrived for my daughter's parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling me that my little girl didn'...

Man Joke Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests...I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!" As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large SPLASH!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could...the crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking. Finally, he made it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire was impressed. He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain...which do you want, my daughter or the one million dollars?" The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your dau...

Parent Joke Teacher: "Isn't it remarkable how quickly the kids learn to drive the car?" Parent: "Yes, especially considering how slowly they catch on to running the lawnmower and vacuum cleaner." Grandmother Joke My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to sew. After I had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, she stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief, "You mean you can do all that, but you can't operate my Game Boy?" Class Joke During the last session of our teaching workshop, participants were asked to state their personal goals for the immediate future. One teacher vowed to update photo albums, another to lose weight. The goal that got the most response, however, was given by a kindergarten teacher. "I resolve to exercise until I can complete a 20-minute workout in less than an hour," she said. Blond Joke A blond is walking on the street when she...

Doctor Joke "Doc," said the young man lying down on the couch, "you've got to help me! Every night I have the same horrible dream. I'm lying in bed when all of the sudden five women rush in and start tearing off my clothes." The psychiatrist nodded, "And what do you do?" "I push them away." "I see. What do you want me to do?" The patient implored, "Break my arms." College Joke A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class period, the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change. Professor Joke As an English professor, my father would often write little notes on student essays. Often he work...

More jokes below after joke top comments. TOP COMMENTS Sonia: This is definitely the best joke site anywhere on the whole internet with every joke of top quality standards. Thompson: I love this extraordinary joke blog site for the mesmerizing content that is full of hilarious humor. Kevin: Every joke presented here is top of the notch with so many other features like pictures with morals and modest videos that are funny to watch. Dinette: Greatest joke collection that I have ever come across having so really nice and clean stuff that is good to enjoy and share. Linda: Awesome and appreciable collection with every joke meaningful and enjoyable as well as good visuals. The Young Blonde Joke A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him!" "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding." "No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought a froze...